Helping Children Understand Loss

The death of a loved one is an experience no child should have to face, but it is an unfortunate reality for many. When children lose a parent, grandparent, sibling, or other significant person in their life, the grief can be profound, and the questions seem endless. As an adult caregiver, helping children understand loss with openness, patience, and age-appropriate explanations is your responsibility.

Helping Children Understand Loss

Here are some pointers from the Wagg Funeral Home team on helping children understand loss:

Be Honest

The first step is being honest. Don't avoid using the words "dead" or "died." While milder terms like "passed away" or "gone to sleep" may seem gentler, they can confuse young minds. Speak plainly but with compassion. "Grandma's body stopped working and she died. She doesn't breathe anymore." This direct delivery allows you to dispel any misunderstandings.

Share Your Emotions

Children pick up on the feelings of adults around them. Don't be afraid to express your own sorrow in front of them. Seeing you cry validates that grief is normal and okay. Talk openly about missing a loved one. You can say something like, "I miss Grandma's hugs and her laugh, too. I know you do as well. It's alright to feel sad."

Use Analogies

Concrete examples help little ones grasp an abstract concept like death. Explanations like "It's like a plant that stopped growing and can't grow anymore" or "Her body wore out, like how Dad's car stopped running" can paint a picture their minds can visualize.

Read Books

There are many wonderful children's books on death and loss. A couple of examples are "Lifetimes" by Bryan Mellonie & Robert Ingpen and "The Invisible String" by Patrice Karst. Reading these stories together provides comfort and sparks thoughtful discussions.

Answer Questions

Expect children's questions to vary based on their age and development stage. Young children often have practical queries like "Are they cold underground?" or "When will they wake up?" Respond patiently using reassuring language. Older kids may wonder deeper things like what happens after death or why their loved one died. Don't feel you have to have all the answers. It's okay to say, "I don't know, but I'll try to find out more."

Memorialize And Celebrate

Involving kids in memorials and remembrance activities helps them process grief. Make a memory box to save mementos. Plant their loved one's favorite flowers together. Bake cookies to donate in their honor. Look at photos and share fun memories. Talk about ways their spirit lives on through family traditions and legacies.

For more information on - helping children understand loss, please call Wagg Funeral Home at 905-985-2171 or drop us a line. You can also send us your queries through this Online Form, and we will call you back to answer any questions.